This Christmas I really wanted to be an elf. As in, a Macy’s Santaland elf. As a huge David Sedaris fan, I dreamed of wearing my elf uniform on the subway to work, à la Time Square’s Elmo or Mickey Mouse. I dreamed of holiday parties where people would ask me what I do for a living and I could honestly reply, “I’m an elf.” Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. My specially tailored cover letter and resume netted me an interview, and I was thrilled to discover that the man interviewing me was once a santa who WORKED WITH DAVID SEDARIS! Yes, it’s true! I wanted to get his autograph, but I wasn’t sure that would be professionally allowable behavior for a job interview. Funny thing, he said David Sedaris wasn’t all that popular with the Macy’s Santaland crew. Apparently he was a temperamental, sarcastic elf who delighted in drama. I can see that. Well, I passed the initial interview with flying colors, convincing everyone of my love for Christmas, small children, and sharing peace and joy. They sent me right over to scheduling, where it was uncovered that I was leaving town for a whole week over Thanksgiving. Oops. Apparently they aren’t allowed to hire anyone who will be missing a week of their four-week season. Boo! I really wanted this to be my Christmas break gig! And then – today me and my friend Sarah paid a visit to Santaland. It looked painful. The elves were not having fun. I think many of them wanted to die. . It was just an ordinary, manual labor, minimum wage paying job that no one was very excited about. Fun. Some dream eggs are best left unhatched.
-
Recent Posts
Categories
Meta
Archives
- February 2019
- January 2019
- June 2018
- January 2018
- August 2017
- April 2017
- March 2016
- January 2016
- October 2015
- September 2015
- August 2015
- May 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- October 2014
- August 2014
- June 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- September 2013
- August 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
Advertisements