Nothing reiterates love for one’s country like reporting for jury duty service. I must be on some kind of short list, because this is the 4th time I’ve been called. Now, imagine being in a class where the teacher is randomly calling on students (Socratic Method) and everyone is desperately trying to get the answers wrong. People were crazy.
“I think he’s guilty!”
“Actually, our client is a man.”
“She. I think she’s guilty!”
“Our client hasn’t committed any crime. She’s suing the plaintiff.”
“Suing people is evil!”
Attorney gives a painful sigh here.
The guy next to me was a narcolept. I kid you not. Every 10 minutes or so his eyes would close and his head would drop and gently nod. He’d start snoring softly, then louder and louder. Finally the noise would wake him and his head would jerk up. The cycle would begin again. When the attorneys got to him, they asked, “Can you think of any reason why you would be unfit to serve on this trial?” We all waited for the poor guy to state the obvious. “Nope.” What???!! He had the perfect out! His excuse was watertight! And yet here he was, ready and willing to do his civic duty… fortunately the parties settled and we all got sent home after one day of service. God bless America.
Since I wasn’t teaching today and didn’t have to be all fancy, I chose to slum it with my black converse shoes.